Recently, I have seen myself engaged in a game. A game that appears to be pulling me back from a belief, that death can occur through cancer. ACIM is clear, NO suffering from cancer can exist in a Holy Daughter of God. This can only occur if I am ‘willing’ to project it. And here is where the rubber of ACIM meets the proverbial road!
ACIM says repeatedly, there is no hierarchy in illusions. And what I have found… in order to deal with my belief in sickness (cancer), I needed to be rigorous in my thinking. There is only one moment to heal from cancer or the cold… and I was given several years of apparent symptoms to keep me choosing again with my belief in cancer. A lot of moments of Holding my Self to the Only Choice I wanted to make… Love. And if I still saw cancer symptoms… Choose again with God.
At first I felt ‘victimized’ by others that did not have cancer. And “I felt victimized” by my interpretation of what acim says about any illness. I was a good person, ‘why me?’… ‘How come the ‘Hitlers’ of the world aren’t projecting cancer?’.. the list of ‘Why Me’s’… went on.
Then I started to See the Opportunity! In Every Breath I took, I would Choose to Breath only with God. And since many of my symptoms from the belief in cancer were involved with my breathing, I could see immediate results on my Choice to Breath with God. If I still perceived pain, that was mine to Choose again. Did I still perceive any of the ‘agreed’ upon symptoms that are associated with ‘my cancer’. Just mine to Go to God and Choose again.
Cancer and Love cannot co exist in God’s Mind. Cancer is a belief in I needed to be punished. A Belief that I deserve to die with suffering. Now an experience of ‘flu’ could be stuck in the place of cancer… but most times I have had the flu… it is just easier to give into the fever and ickiness, then really Healing. Just give it a couple of days (another belief).
So when confronted with ‘death by cancer’… giving in to this belief felt as though the consequences were more severe. I can Totally See that this is not the case now… The flu is just as deadly… However, “I think” I have more empty chambers in my gun with the flu. The odds are in my favor. These are odds I am willing to take on so that I don’t have to do any real deep work.
So cancer was a gift to really Hold my commitment to See Peace and only Health. With this commitment, I can only Hold You in Peace and Health. If I occur as sick, You will occur the same way… If you occur as sick, I am occuring as sick. So my Listening of You is different. I can only ‘listen you’ from Love.
With a cold, I would say, “Yeah, God help me see how I am using this to attack myself?”… and since ‘death was not imminent with the cold’, I would go on to other things. I can just wait it out.
Through my willingness to See cancer as my projection of abusing my self, I needed to continue to string a lot of moments of forgiving myself together. I have never Seen so much guilt in my self until I started to forgive myself for creating cancer in my body in the first place.
The confrontation felt to occur with every breath I took. I would choose again with my next breath… and again… going to God… Choosing again… until the symptoms started to disappear.
The difference between cancer and the flu… We have a belief that flu is not a dangerous as cancer. So we can rest on a safety net that we think we have. Flu won’t kill me… so I don’t have to really do any work on this. Just give in to the symptoms for a couple of days and go back to work… No need to dig around here.
So my Gratitude for cancer knows no bounds at this point. My Thinking has had a ‘crash course’ in ‘healing’. Many moments strung together in ‘Healing my Mind’… Within my willingness for Peace and Love, All areas of my Life have been lifted to the light. I am Living the Happy Dream. This conversation just keeps ‘fluffing up’ in Celebration.
So many ask, “What is the fastest way up the Mountain to See God?”… cancer certainly has proven this for me.