‘This’ blog is a ‘break’ in the ‘A Body Clearing’ series… This ‘peace’ I wrote a while ago… I wanted to add it to this web site… so here it is… In Joy…
It is about 3 feet high… two feet wide….. and when turned on makes an enormous amount of noise. I have held it as an idol for the past several years. My Oxygen Machine. I have a 20 foot hose that I was able to move about while relying on it for comfort. There were times… Breathing became very difficult. The stories as to “Why I found it difficult to breathe”… were many… the major one… was the last “official” doctor I saw, said… “Come back in… in a couple of months and we will see where it (apparent cancer) has spread in your lungs”….
Now I was “Healed” enough to hear this ‘insanity’. OK…let me get this straight… I am going to spend money, to make another appointment, be told how much worse I was???????? Even George Carlin is Laughing at this one…
As A Course in Miracles student… I wanted to ‘address my insane thinking’… where ever I found it… and I found it with this last doctor visit…. My commitment to See All Insane thoughts differently started like this…”I will not allow my self to continue to separate from God and suffer” (for my friends not familiar with ACIM, God is ONLY LOVE… so when I choose to suffer in the dream called llife, I am not Trusting God… There is some ‘correction’ I can make through Forgiving something)…
Hospice was all about comfort… so that was when I was introduced to ‘my oxygen machine”… We had a very interesting relationship. I used her a lot in the early days of changing my mind with regards to a “lung diagnosis”…
I had a love/hate relationship with my machine. I would turn it off as soon as anyone stopped by… The noise made conversations difficult… and the embarrassment that I was loosing use of a body (that had never ‘failed’ me before), was all encompassing.
I even progressed to a ‘portable backpack’… although I only used it once while ‘strolling’ around the dog park. I was ‘totally’ horrified sharing my need for Oxygen ‘publically’… For a period of time I actually gave up walking rather than ‘embarrass my self’ with the O2 machine in public.
There were lots of forgiveness opportunities! For the many years I smoked, as I was still believing in “outside” Cause and Effect. Yet… ACIM called me back to God…LOVE ALL of ‘my process’… no exceptions… Back to My Eternal State of Love… The Only ‘cause’ of anything… begins and ends in my mind.
So, it had been 6 months since I had turned the ‘machine’ on. It sat in an obvious location in my home… as I walk by and think… Just a good thing to have around; never know living at 8,000 feet, ”just in case”, “just in case” of local fires affecting air quality, ‘just in case’ I get sick… OMG… My mind knows no end to suffering. It even provides my little stuffed dragon, from a friend, with a prominent perch to sit on. It had become a ‘source’ of invisible thoughts.
One of my Deepest tap roots of beliefs has been…. “Just in Case”… from extra rolls of duck tape to Oxygen machines…. This beLIEf is a contradiction for me to accessing “Trust in God for All things”… If I am needing extra rolls of duck tape… they will be provided me when necessary… The Oxygen Machine idol has become a ‘just in case’ item in my home. Just another ‘extra’ roll of duck tape so to speak!
My Trust in God has ‘strengthen’ over this apparent time… I am willing to Fly Free… Trusting that God will provide Everything I need to handle my form… and there may be others in the illusion that could be assisted on this path with “MY Machine” LOLOLOLO
So the breakup with my idol was written. I just watched as the Home Care folks came and rolled it out my door. Good Bye Idol!! I find my Self Whole and Complete with God AND I have extra Room in my home, now….
Thank You All for Your Generous Listening of my stories as I Unwind them… Much Love to All and One Fabulous Life!
Awesome! I am just learning how that “just-in-case” attitude has held me back by causing me to hang on to things that take the space that could be occupied by new and more wonderful things!