Medicare Delusion

For my ‘informed mind’ Knows that God does not judge… however…‘I judge’…every now and again… and sometimes ‘my thinking’ can attempt to ‘follow a particular ‘victim way’ of thinking…  ‘Love All… no exceptions…ever….’ becomes ‘unclear’… lololol

images-63So recently… I ‘judged without Love’. In fact… I wanted to actually ‘cause harm’ (in thoughts only)… Not ‘proud’ of these ‘thoughts’… and ‘my’ judgments did not automatically go to ‘Love’. That is the skill I am working on…. particularly with large corporations with 800 numbers…lol

I met with a woman from an insurance company. Now the ‘underlying’ beLIEf ‘for me’, was… ‘banks and insurance companies are too large to fail and can be difficult to deal with’… so when I am dealing with these establishments… My Guard is Up… My Fear… ‘they’ can cause me harm.  And With ‘this fear’… I am actually ‘drawing this very insanity to my self’.  (Example of how ’cause and effect’ works in the horizontal) (OMG… this explains sooooooo much about ‘my herstory’ ….LOLOLOL)…

Wow… this is one that has been at the foundation of ALL my ‘social injustice’ ideas. Make them ‘wrong’ before they can ‘do’ anything to me (or others) (and truth be Known,,,’I’ was probably more concerned with ‘me looking good’ rather than having  a bigger concern for your welfare over mine)(….whew…the Truth is…)… AND once ‘I have convinced ‘you’ of an ‘injustice’..then I can ‘prove’ to ‘you’, ‘how ‘right’ I am, about how ‘wrong’ ‘they’ are”!!… whew… truly insane…Completely a ‘disturbed way of ‘being’…

scream

AND… ‘my’ making ‘them’ wrong…  All ‘my icky’ judgments look like this in some way… and my GREATEST TEACHERS… Big Corporate Structures… I ‘see them’ as having some capacity to still evoke harm… and the only harm is in ‘my thinking’, ‘they’ can never ‘evoke harm’…oh boy… pass ‘me’ more of that ‘kool-aid’…

 

The Only thing I need to KNOW…Whenever, ‘I feel a need to defend my self’… I Am Not ‘Trusting God’.

So my friend Lars, having no ‘training’ in acim, and with Much Love of Me… REELED ‘me’ in the other day…. After ‘the former hook’, “health insurance”, took me into ‘icky thinking land’… Lars was there to give me what I am calling… a ‘mental’ ‘slap’ in the face… to get the attention of ‘my corporate crazy woman’…

He got ‘my attention’ and God spoke through Him …. I could just cry… ‘thinking how much ‘Lars’ Loves ‘me’….He said that “He Knows ‘i am right'”  and ‘he’ just wanted me to ‘be peacefull’…

ok…

my prayer… that all have a ‘Lars’ in their lives…  So quickly the ‘thinking’ was turned…

images-65The topic of judgment is at the heart of Jesus’ teachings in A Course in Miracles, and so it should be at the heart of our practice of the Course. As Jesus points out early in the text, the choice to judge is the cause of our loss of peace, and therefore when we meet ourselves and everyone else without judgment we will experience a release and a sense of peace so deep that it will be beyond anything we could possibly imagine (T-3.VI.2:1; 3:1).

And this particular ‘delusional story’, I now find ‘funny’….I Knew I had Healed… the original ‘letter to the insurance company was  5 and a half pages… LOLOL…

when I Checked with God… and Cleared… now really… What Happened….?

I whittled this 5 page,( very well written letter ), down to about a half a page...  all ‘i’ did was take the ‘victim’ out of my story…  LOLOLOLO

Thank You Medicare for Your ‘Trainning’. Thank You Lars for Your Love… a Mind Hug to All…

 

 

 

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