Woke up this morning with a ‘memory’… There was a ‘program’ associated with the Landmark Forum. It was the “Self Expression and Leadership Program SELP”… It was three months long and “I hated it”… but completed it on ‘sheer drive to complete the damn program’…. Lolol… AND this three month program has come back more that almost any of the other ‘programs’ I did with Landmark.

The design of the program was to ‘set up a program in your community’… And the three months… took all of us on a ‘journey’… into ‘our minds’… ‘we’ explored, what made us ‘happy’… what ‘drives us’… what ‘stops us’… a inner look into ‘how ‘I’ function in the world’…

And I need to say again… ‘’i’ hated the program while the program was going on’…. And ‘what happened in my community’… a ‘product’…a teen court in santa fe was set up with ‘alternative’ sentencing options… example… for teen drunk driving first offences… going to the emergency room some ‘holiday’ evening, to see the ‘result’ of drunk driving on the streets of santa fe. The program was eventually picked up by the local hospital and the city of Santa Fe… and I never heard about it again…None of that held the ‘Gold’…

Now Where the Gold Mine was in ‘my memory of this whole process this morning’… Not in the ‘product’ of the three months. The Gold Mine was in the PROCESS !!! Does this FIT or What!!!   Booooo-rah!!!

So there were two parts that ‘were the hardest’ during this program…. One… the name of the project… and I will come back to this one… The other most difficult peace… the three months ‘succeeded’ when you ‘gave your project’ away… and ‘I’ was no longer needed to keep the ‘project’ in place. We had to Give the project away… and ‘not be identified’ with it…’ego’s do not ‘like’ not being ‘acknowledged’…(loll)

So I am looking at ‘completions With God’… Where do I resist Trusting God ‘with completing ‘things’’. Where am ‘i’ desiring acknowledgement…What be LIEfs are holding back the LIGHT.

Then the litany of stuff just comes out… “’They’ cant do it as well as ‘I’ can”, “’I KNOW’ more about this”, “’I’ want Recognition for some thing”… LOLOLOL… oh yeah… there is quite a ‘running list’… lololo

So Looking at ‘all the projects’ of my life With God…  It is only when ‘I hear’ any of the above mentioned ‘icky’ comment stream…the “what about ‘me'” conversations, that I become ‘unhappy’… and I Must Go Back to God… I Desire the Peace of God Above All Else!

Poof… back to ‘Happy for no apparent reason.

‘my’ ownership of ‘anything’ is completely not needed… I Release All Projects to God… All My Trust is There… in Love… In God. …

So looking at ‘projects’, ‘commitments’, and ‘completions’, this SELP program pushed us into ‘our lives’… not from a ‘end product ‘frame of ‘mind”… but to ‘evaluate ‘our selves’ with the ‘process’.   The first and foremost ‘issue’ with this particular three month program… I have ‘given shit’ to my self over the years for this one…’Naming’  ‘our’ programs was a ‘big process’… ‘my program title’,  ‘never felt right’… until this morning and ‘reviewing this whole memory With God’…

The primary comment I remember of ‘my title’ was this… “it is a little dark”…lol.. and it was a ‘thorn in my side until this morning’… the title of ‘my selp project’… Dying to Live.. . and now I so get the title with ‘No’ Darkness…

At the end of this three month process… there was some conversation about how Our project titles were a ‘statement’ of our ‘Life’s Expression’… for ‘me’, ‘Dying to Live’… was a ‘dark’ expression… ‘fear of driving drunk’… was a life’s expression of ‘fear of living’… in all ways. Probably a lifetime of blogs… and all I needed was the Light.

Dying to Live… seen With God… With Light… no darkness… no ‘fear’… becomes an Inspiration to Generate Love…. ‘I’ no Longer Need to ‘die to Live’… I am allowing ‘my small fearful egoic mind’ to DIE.  And with this death… I Live… and not only do I Live… I am In Heaven… here on earth…

I Am Living Light… unless I want to ‘say’ or ‘think’ otherwise’… now let’s talk ‘insanity’…. lololol

ok…. Thanks God!!

So that was ‘this mornings Memory’ With God… Many Blessings and Love Wrapped in a Giant Hug!