Silent Retreat… Time Well Spent With God

Arrived at the Living Miracles Monastery in Utah for ‘my transition’ from living ‘Privately with God’… to a Life in ‘Community Joined With God’… and to start this ‘New Life’ off…I am doing a week long silent retreat… I checked in with God… and it appears that ‘journaling’… with or without publication is in order… so here I go…

My trip from Santa Fe was Beauty Full… driving with my angel friend Cathy… taking my ‘packed world’ in several bags… to this retreat. After a week in Utah, I will fly to Mexico, where I will be taking up residence for awhile…

My ‘thoughts’ on this two day drive included many that would have ‘me grieve’… if I gave into certain ‘thought streams’… Here are several examples… setting ‘Chester’ free(my dog friend), ‘Lars’( my human friend of 35 years in Santa Fe), ‘my comfie life in Northern New Mexico’, ‘my fears of the unknown’ (the primary One… I Am indeed a Bag Lady), … and yet… I keep hearing God… “After the Last tear, You will Know Joy beyond Your Wildest Imagination”…

So I am allowing many ‘thoughts’ to surface… not to ‘engage’ with them… taking them to God to See Differently… allowing a few tears to flow… but taking them to God before my ‘small’ mind takes me into the ‘bowels’ of my ‘suffering mind’.

While packing up to move, I sold or gave away most everything… my parents wedding rings, car and the former home/office is for sale… I threw out More… All pictures… trays and trays of slides taken from Music festivals in the 70’s to my African ‘relief worker’ days in Sudan in ’91… Slides emboding ‘a life’… a life in the horizontal. Not suffering memories perhaps… yet… they take me away from the ‘present moment’… AND I can only access God in the Now.

Selling and throwing away all the Kodak moments and symbols of a past life was ‘FREEING’. And as with all in a Course in Miracles… I fully embraced the ‘fear’ around leaving all symbols of this life behind…. As I shared in the Monastery Diaries… “I was to Come With Empty Hands” … and as a result of per-severing with this request from God … I am to Come With ‘Empty Thoughts’… Emptying ideas of who I have been… to Who I AM. I Am Love… and if a symbol or pictures takes me into pain, grief, suffering OR the Past… I am to release it… to allow for my God nature… My Love Nature to fill Me Up.

So the sun is opening in the eastern desert sky… My silence is allowing me to Be in the Hush of Heaven… while my ‘mind’ Clears… to allow for the True Blue Cloudless Nature of ‘I Am’…

Thank YOU… Thank YOU… Thank YOU! xoxox

 

 

 

 

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