While in Mexico, I found my self in Hermitage. I isolated myself With God, for the first time that I am aware of in this life. While at La Casa de Milagros, I heard over and over… “Write Now, Right Now”. I kept ignoring ‘this voice’ as I did not want to resist that beauty full guidance I was being given at La Casa.
It became impossible to ignore at some moment. “Write Now, Right Now”…. I was keeping up with the ‘monastery schedule’ while also honoring this internal voice by getting up at 2am and writing.
The only thing that occurred was I would fall asleep during the ‘Movies to Awaken’, that were often shown at night. I would be gently touched if my snoring became a hinderance to others… lolol…
And at some moment, I was guided to leave La Casa and seek hemitage. So I packed my bags with no more information than that and took a cab to a little hotel in Guadalahara.
And the first week or so, I kept thinking, Just one more night, just one more night, until I finally just gave the hotel clerk my credit card and admitted, I have no idea of how long I am going to be here.
While here, I had much communication with Holy Spirit, opportunities to see my angst about ‘things’, did several Instruments for Peace and at one time appeared to get very sick. One of those head colds where my teeth were hurting as my head swelled. Just ego attempting to get my attention to focus on the horizontal. And the truth, My internal teacher attempting to get my attention to look at a fear…lol…
This whole idea of ‘not breathing’ became a huge fear and the only treatment, to keep asking Holy Spirit to assist me to have the fear revealed to me.
I heard Holy Spirit, “Don’t judge eternity by the temple” and “wake up out of the dream that bodies are important.” And “God has no interest in breathing”… Just several of the things that came through while I was ‘seeing breathing difficulties’.
So I was guided to watch a movie, which is a very common occurrence when needing horizontal assistance with fears surfacing. So I watched, “Henry Poole is Here”.
All about a man thinking his body was real. A Man dealing with a diagnosis, his shadow, his fear. So I get that my addiction to fear based thinking is the real problem and I take that to God to See differently.
As soon as I got to the source of this fear, my head felt better. My concerns of ‘dying alone in a hotel in Mexico’, just my fear based addiction…lololol…
So the journey continues, my stay in Mexico continues until it doesn’t. The future really is irrelevant. I just took the first step to Healing today… I am Calico, and I have a perceptual problem. I am addicted to fearful thinking.
Now I just need to see each time I want to fall into fear based thinking. That is all I Need to do.
As I shared with another friend today, Everything is my reflection! If I spot it, I got it, and this results in me kicking my butt a lot!!! A little bruised here in Mexico, yet very Happy in my mind!
Amen and Have a deLightFull Moment!