In another Massive Unwind of ‘my mind’. And I repeat this often… there is no ‘out there’… It is All Mine… It is All Mind… Only One person can accept the Atonement… ‘me’!!!!
Really looking at ‘trust’… and seeing that which I have beLIEved it to be. I saw trust out side of me… ‘You’ either trusted me… or I ‘trusted you’.. and with just writing this I get to giggling… no where in either of those is ‘me trusting the Christ that I am’… and this appears to be my unwind of the present moment.
I have a friend, Lars. He is the ‘friend of a lifetime’… Known him for the past 35 years, he is my power of attorney in the horizontal world. We have joked in the past… For all imagined purposes, he is ‘my husband’… ‘my brother’… ‘my lover’… ‘my go to guy’. And what has saved us both… sexually his preference is men… Sexually I am not interested… works for us…
Now Lars and I had a conversation the other day. All about the fact that since ‘a cancer diagnosis’ several years ago, he has not charged me for the bookkeeping services he has provided me with for the past 35 years. He just completed handling the sale of my ‘last investment’… a building in Santa Fe. I was in Mexico Unwinding… as he handled all the legal stuff… the signings… all the ‘drudge work’ (my word, symbol of paperwork…HS, here is one we can see differently).
So during this conversation, I said I was going to give him a lump of money. And I am so getting the guilt that I was offering from… I need to pay him back in some way for everything he has done for me. That was one area of unwind for me… clearing my need to make a ‘guilt payment’.
And the bigger Unwind… Trust. Seeing him not trusting that ‘he was worthy of accepting this gift’… Now here it gets a little complicated as I unravel… Him not wanting to accept my gift… the truths… He was not receiving my ‘guilt money’… He was not ‘trusting my supposed gift’… and I was projecting All of it. I was not trusting my gift. I am not receiving My Gift… that I Receive because I Am. The money I was offering was from my guilt over him ‘doing something nice’… (ouch) I was guilty. And in the ‘thinking’ of Jesus’… There is only One of us… and I was not TRUSTING. That was the projection!!
So I get that I Am Not Trusting! I immediately take this to God…
Now this is merging with another clearing going on at the moment(Clearing Clashings) … seeing my life as a series of being ‘misunderstood’ by many incidents. (lol) My projection of “I am not ok” in the minds of many. Again…they are just My Lesson. MY PROJECTIONS. Hence the core beLIEf that needs to be Cleared… I Am Not OK… there are no other minds… just MINE to Clear!
So I am not merging these two unravelings… I Am Not Trusting My Projections… AND I am not OK… hence I wouldn’t want to trust these projections either !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (geez) (lol)
So I offer you this short Clearing of Really Owning My Trust of My Christ Mind. For as Jesus in A Course in Miracles has been telling me for oh so long… It is all my projection… It is All Love misperceived… and it is all Perfect.
So as I embrace the lesson: I am not trusting my projections of not being ok. I turn to Holy Spirit… So to embrace the Truth: I Am Perfect… Trust will build with each redirect to Holy Spirit.
So Much Love… just learning to Trust that…