Currently sitting in Corrales, NM, in a tiny house in the middle of of horse paddock. I woke with a burning ‘desire’. And the funny part… I had nothing planned. I just woke with a burning desire. Then I Prayed, for Peace, Hearing Guidance, Willingness, the usual and then a lot of thoughts came in.
This process is not unusual except for the waking with the ‘burning desire’ part… I took note… sex was not on the table… as many times burning desires are connected… nope… not this morning. Then I had Many wonderful thoughts of Mexico… and this one kept coming in.
I was in Chapalla, Mexico at La Casa Milagros for three months. I went there with ‘an intention’ of ‘staying forever’. Now… for most normal ACIM Mightie Companion ‘thinking’ folks… there is an immediate flaw in ‘my thinking’… however, from ‘my side at the time’… It made sense.
So staying in the moment with ‘my feelings’, is my access to my thoughts. So this morning’s Burning Desire… was presenting me with thoughts of ‘something out there’ in ego land. I Prayed to get present with my feelings. This burning desire was something I desired out there in time. So I Prayed for an intervention with Holy Spirit.
“Holy Spirit, help me see these thoughts through your eyes. I want to wake with Love and Joy. Burning desires are not ‘Peaceful’… and left with that in my small ego mind, I will create chaos. So this morning’s ‘desire’ is a ‘chaotic thought’… Allow me to See it differently, through Your Eyes.”
Then I just sink into what I just wrote. Yes… I usually wake with such Heavenly Peace. Now today this ‘burning desire’… and I don’t want to make it wrong. Now if you are really following this, my dilemma… which is Holy Spirit, which is ego.
‘Desires’ fall in the future. So I am immediately suspect of my thoughts… definitely small ego thinking… AND… I hear… ‘God would not want you to settle’… so I take the bait… “Right!”…So I go back to “yeah, God would not want me to suffer”…. Oops… rewind…
‘me and suffering’ in the same thought. Probably not God.
So looking at how collapsing ‘not staying in the moment’ and ‘planning for the future’, ‘desiring in the future’ all take me away. From Just Experiencing Peace and Joy of Now. So I just sit with this.
And this all blooms into a Major Atonement… Fear of not having a future. While in Hospice, there was “a lot of fear” being covered up about not having a ‘future’. And this lesson is all about Truly Living in the Moment. There is No Future. So, no need to fear. And I do not say this with tongue in cheek. The ‘experience of this’ is what I am projecting for myself right now.
And even as I write this… all the miracles showing up are just what happens next. Love is just everywhere I find myself. Until, oops… a small ego thought got through… Go to God. Be Willing to See Truth Differently.
Truth is True… Love Is… Amen
* Non sex related desires… just a note… All ‘desires’ are of ego. All of them are of ego. I am aware of this. And yet, I am still a ‘student’ of ACIM.