Really sitting with a lot of inquiries right now. Most of these inquiries, I initiated with my commitment to Tabula Rasa. The theme of all thoughts… “I want Love… don’t ‘I’..????”
“Holy Spirit, Decide for God for Me today… I Am Willing… Bring it On!”
I am leaving for the Living Miracles Monastery in Utah today. I take all my inquiries with me… I take all My Joy… all my fear. The fear I take appears to be about truly Joining With My Brother.
(lol)… Even writing it make me giggle… for my life long conscious desire has been to JOIN… in Truth… in Love… and I appear in the parable of calico… to have failed in this ‘quest’. AND, what is poking through… the Love I Have sought can not be found in form.
The perfect body (special), the perfect home (special), the perfect relationship (special)… always seeking ‘better’.
And seeking for love from form will eventually lead to ‘let down’… (for death appears to end all love). So I am just starting to Join with Holy Spirit. Hearing the Voice of Love. Learning to Trust it’s Guidance. And driving up to Utah appears to ‘trigger fear’… I ask… what is this fear about.
For this fear is of ego… and the usual reaction… there is something to avoid or run away from.
With Tabula Rasa. I really am approaching my fear differently… my usual way… “This is not feeling safe”… then I follow the guidance from this fear. Which in the case of going to the residential portion of Tabula Rasa… I would tell myself… “you don’t need this… don’t do it… ‘these people’ don’t love you… why are you doing this to yourself… this feels completely counter intuitive”…. And the ‘mind plays on’…
So I am packed and ready for the next step in the education of Love. I am going to JOIN… and there is this voice that is screaming at this thought….
So for now, I will be taking Pause from this blog. I am really going to ‘be willing’ to ‘do’ the bidding of Holy Spirit. I Join You There!!! Much Love!!! Xoxoxoxox