Really looking at the idea of my ‘split mind’ today. My insane mind thinks it’s self; either, sick, fat or old. These are ‘my favorites’ to make separation real. These thoughts stem from my beLIEf in an attacker, such as my beLIEf in 1) ‘aging’ leads to ‘old’, 2) ‘food’ leads to ‘fat’, or 3) ‘disease’ leads to ‘sick’. So my attackers were aging, food and disease. My personal ‘Hell’… there is no Heaven available to me in any of these apparent areas of beLIEf.
This morning, I woke up this morning with a lot of bug bites. ‘Biting bugs’ leading to ‘discomfort’… I am starting to see a pattern here… bugs causing pain, people causing discomfort, governments causing stress… the list appears endless in my egoic thinking mind. My mind is filled with attack thoughts such as, bugs, people, governments. Even as I type, there is no Peace with any of these ‘thoughts’.
So with the bug bites, I thought, “Why are bugs causing me suffering?” So I took these ‘attacking bug bite’ thoughts to Holy Spirit to see differently. I was immediately guided to lessons 196, “It can be but me I crucify” and 197, “It can be but my gratitude I earn”.
I am blaming myself for the idea of an outside attacker (bugs)? I am seeing something outside of myself to blame (bugs). For in either case, I am blaming God and not seeing everything as MY call for Love! With all of these thoughts, I am not in gratitude. Gratitude for ‘me’! I am projecting the very lesson I am needing… where am I NOT Loving myself…For all that is, IS ONLY Love. (needs to be tattooed on the inside of my eyelids)
For the lesson I am projecting is Learning to be grateful for all form that either reflects Christ or guides me back to my Christ Mind. And today, ‘bugs’ are the form in which I am delivering the lesson to myself to return to my Christ Mind.
“There is an instant in which terror seems to grip your mind so wholly that escape appears quite hopeless. When you realize, once and for all, that it is you, you fear, the mind perceives itself as split. And this had been concealed while you believed attack could be directed outward, and returned from outside to within. It seemed to be an enemy outside you had to fear. And thus a god outside yourself became your mortal enemy; the source of fear” —ACIM Lesson 196
ok… so ‘terror’ associated with bug bites feels a bit extreme, yet, there is no hierarchy of problems or miracles. So while allowing myself to be guided through my ‘bug bite’ thoughts, I can heal my ‘cancer thoughts’. The correction for both are identical in my mind. note: I can still scare myself with ‘cancer’, and somehow ‘bug bites’ feels harmless enough to do the work on ALL HEALING.
So, I take my bug bites to Holy Spirit to See Differently. For I am Clear, Everything will be used by Holy Spirit for my best interest.
My prayer: Holy Spirit, allow me to See the split in my mind as the source of all suffering. Assist me in being Grateful for ALL. Guide me back to Love.
“Here is the second step we take to free your mind from the belief in outside force pitted against your own. You make attempts at kindness and forgiveness. Yet you turn them to attack again, unless you find external gratitude and lavish thanks. Your gifts must be received with honor, lest they be withdrawn.” — ACIM Lesson 197
I am learning that the only response to anything in the horizontal is my deep gratitude … lest I remove kindness. Without Gratitude, I am not kind. OMG, ANY thing I see as an attack, is my RED FLAG to move closer. Joining with Mightie Companions that are committed to Holding only Love is my next step… Share my thoughts… for all my ‘unshared complaints’ are destined to return until I allow Holy Spirit to ‘change my mind’. My insane mind is incapable of changing itself. For today, I am so Joyous to see the Christ in my buggy formed friends.
“There is no Thought of God that does not go with you to help you reach that instant, and to go beyond it quickly, surely and forever. When the fear of God is gone, there are no obstacles that still remain between you and the holy peace of God.” —ACIM Lesson 196
For now, my bug bites appear to be healing very quickly… now I appear to be experiencing loose stools… LOLOL… just another opportunity…
I am so Grateful!!!
“Under his teaching, every relationship becomes a lesson in love.” ACIM T-15.V.4.6
Love it, Calico. So true, and so willing you are
Thank you, Calico, for maintaining and sharing your vigilance.