I came across this little journal entry, when clearing out my ‘journals’… A very important lesson… seeing ‘a foreclosure’ as the ‘Miracle”… I Share this for others ‘coping’ with ‘something’….
Access to Love in the world of illusion came through animals for ‘me’. And animals showed up with a hierarchy… horses were at the top. They allowed me to access love, immediately, in the illusion. Horses were ‘my idol’ (acim)…
My house at one time was a barn… me on top…Horses below…When this was foreclosed, my greatest apparent loss was that of my old yellow horse. One of the greatest forgiveness processes for ‘me’… for not being able to Keep Her… (((KEEP LOVE)))…
With God… I sorted out ‘this idol’ for my self. I thought love lived outside of me… Love for ‘me’ lived in an old yellow horse… and what I was asking to SEE… is that I Am Love. With or without ‘old yellow horses’… I AM LOVE. This I can Never Loose.
And at the time of the forclosure…I saw my self as completely screwed… I could ‘Not Keep Love’… so I did what a person does that ‘feels screwed by having ‘lost’ Love’… I got ‘angry’ at the apparent ‘out there cause’ of my inability to ‘keep love’ (in here)…LOLOLOL
What has become Clear, horses have been my ‘idol’ for love. ‘They’ make me happy. I was using the ‘something outside my self’ to make me feel Love. Going Within… I unraveled the unconscious beLIEf structure that “believed I could Loose Love”…
In acim, how many times had I read… I Am Love… I Am Love…I Am Love …. And yet… I was only Happy (in love) some of the time… “often be cause of a horse”…lolo
When in fact… ‘Horses’ were actually a block to SEEING LOVE Every Where… All the time… No Exceptions…
I could not See that ‘horses’ were a limiting projection… this is so insane… total scrambled egg land…LOLOLOLO
So the only way for me to wake up to this faulty thinking was to remove ‘my idol of horse love’, with a ‘foreclosure’ in the illusion. I would just continue to project ‘my Love’ onto a horse… unable to own MY SELF as LOVE. This brought me to See the Love that “I AM”… The foreclosure turns out to be a miracle!
In the illusion, I believed that love could be ‘removed’ (usually seen as death or drama (foreclosure)). The loss I was apparently feeling was the loss of an ‘idol called love’ in the form of a ‘yellow horse’. My ‘idol love’ was preventing me from Seeing Me as LOVE. (a natural expression not necessarily needing a horse to be present…lolololo).
“You cannot be faithful to two masters who ask conflicting things of you. What you use in fantasy you deny to truth. Yet what you give to truth to use for you is safe from fantasy.”
acim chapter 17, Forgiveness and the Holy Relationship, Bringing Fantasy to Truth.
A lesson worthy of loosing a ‘house’ and a ‘horse’. It takes what it takes to Wake Up! Blessed Be! Every thing is a MIRACLE… Much Love… and De Light !!!!!