The Laughing Palomino was an extraordinary opportunity. I was to design and build my version of my Grandmother Francis’ story. In her childhood in Ireland, she had the opportunity to live above animals. I was always intrigued and finally was able to realize my Own version of her story. I purchased raw, unimproved land and built my nest. I Learned much and it was an extraordinary Life. I purchased a barn kit… and then finished off the Loft to live in. Dogs, cats, horses, chickens and a whole lot of Happy!!!
Then this projection started to take over my thinking. I was becoming more and more of a slave to my palace instead of Happy. Another student of ACIM asked me once… “What kept you from Seeing God and Continuing the ‘happy’ at the Laughing Palomino?”. I have only the knowledge that I threw at my self the illusion and it was mine to deal with. And I Know that whatever shows up in my video is access to a ‘whole lot of happy’… it is just mine to Clear. So my video showed up one day with a big bank purchasing my loan from my originating bank.
I knew it immediately when my loan was purchased…. My statements changed. The new bank changed my 30 year fixed rate note. My balance went up and my monthly payment went up with out any correspondence to me. The new big bank gave me an 800 number.
Well this was the beginning of a 5 year projection that would knock more than my socks off. I spent hours and money on lawyers. The banks had gone postal. I only had an 800 line to sort out ‘saving’ my home.
The drama continued with the bank posting notes on the gate to the Laughing Palomino. The big bank did not even have a branch in the entire state of New Mexico… and yet they had paid employees in my rural area to post ‘warnings’ and to come on to my property to take pictures. The whole situation was delusional from the beginning.
I had many in my life at the time, that kept telling me to ‘fight them’. “What they are doing is wrong”… So I fought the bank. I fought for a few years before I started to See. All of them, my projections. Another ACIM student asked me once, “It took 5 years!!!!!”… Yeah, I had a particularly hard head!!!! lolol
A Major lesson in the world of ‘no hierarchy’ of miracles… I have only ever been bound by the ‘Laws of God”… which occur as reverse in the “Laws of the World”… so actually, “I am right and have the law on my side to proove iit”, is actually the point to “Pause”… I am Bound by the Laws of God ONLY… LOVE. That world has no ‘wrong or right’ or ‘the law is on my side’… so As I Allowed the Rule of God… The Love of God to Enter, ‘forclosure’… did not seem so ‘wrong’ in this case. THE MIRACLE… I was starting to SEE this Differently and END THE SUFFERING!!!
At some point I started to speak a commitment for wanting Peace in my Life. I was also guided to See as God Sees… The bank had no such commitment. So finding resolution with different commitments seemed like a folly. So if I was to turn this around… once again, I had to See it differently. I started to correct my speaking about it.
During the early part of this journey, I was referring to the bank as “Stealing my Home”. I saw that by keeping this alive in my speaking, I was creating my perception and that perception was further victimizing my self. So as a way to start the process of forgiveness, I had to start somewhere and the place where I started was to correct my speaking, whenever I was lucky enough to hear my self.
I would like to say here, I am a former ‘conspiracy theorist and activist’. What I am Learning is, that I have used governments, politicians, and other forms of ‘out there’ bad guys as the focus of my anger. The good news… they were out of range to be hurt through me purporting violence on them… although, I did have some wild fantasies. The Bad news… I was keeping my self victim to the World I saw and subsequently made wrong. This can never be a ‘Happy” place…. NEVER.
So I started Praying and Sitting in God’s lap with all of it. I started breaking down what happened. I lived in a house… then I moved. Without any trauma or drama, this is clearly what happened (without any story). So I kept correcting my thinking from “stealing to Leaving a house”. At some point the spark and anger were gone. I am not sure how this all came about except from a small willingness to See all of this differently and a vigilance of minding my thoughts.
I also had a great deal of assistance from a retreat with Nouk Sanchez. I took all of my ACIM teachings and moved them out of metaphor land. I was frustrated that I would be accepting the atonement for the bank, for the rest of my Life. How could I Truly be Peaceful within a Delusional World. Nouk was the first ACIM teacher I came across that addressed ACIM as Literal. I was all in… I had no desire to continue to root around in forgiveness for a bank for the rest of my life. I wanted Peace and Happy. And I wanted it Now.
And little did I know at the time how powerful a thought process I was in. More will be