Was looking at the opportunities I have provided myself in this life time. One of the Greatest Gifts I gave myself was called, ‘foreclosure’. I will start by saying… I actually had a ‘short sale’. The technical terms in different worlds are funny. The difference between a short sale and a foreclosure… You get to Choose when you leave in a short sale vs. having the local a government official come to your door with a padlock. So my case was a short sale. I chose to leave.
And this is actually the ending of this ‘story’. What I really want to Share is, ‘how’ I surfed the ‘mind field’. How I created a way to Think about this differently. How I Created the Greatest Opportunity out what appeared at the time, of the greatest heart ache.
It started with me purchasing land and building my ‘dream Home’. My Irish Grandmother would share stories of living in Ireland above animals. I was beyond intrigued as a child. Fantasies as a child always included animals and living with them in some fashion!
So starting with raw land, I designed my fantasy. I created a Haven. I created the ultimate of ‘tree houses’. I lived among the ponderosa pine boughs. I built the loft of my barn out into the most delightful of spaces. 1500 sg feet of Love. I wrote ‘affirmations’ and words of Love on all the supporting beams and trusses. Underneath the tongue and groove pine, were the words that would ‘support the fantasy’. Or so I thought.
I built my Idol and named her the “Laughing Palomino”. The more I put into her, the more unconscious my separation from God became. I created my “heaven”… separate from God. Without my conscious thought, there was a belief structure built up around the Laughing Palomino. I worked on self sufficiency, heating with the wood, cutting wood from the property while allowing the forests to be healthier, my garden provided much of my food, I worked the cattle that eventually became food, recycled, and ‘worked my way into a “giant tangle of beLIEfs”. A system that would only Serve Me, by my Willingness to Trust God. And in My Case, a system of ‘thought’ and resulting ‘effect’, that would become dismantled.
None of this was ‘conscious’ while my idol (Laughing Palomino) remained unchallenged. And on some level, I Knew that the path towards God was away from my isolation on the mountain. I deliberately went to the woods, like Thoreau. And I now See, how I needed to ‘deliberately’ give up the idol, and move else where to better Serve God. I set this up for me to See. I had to give up what I saw at the time, my greatest love.
This “love of form” was what ACIM calls an idol. Idols are anything that we place as greater than God’s Love. My Commitment to See as God Sees, became secondary, to managing the Laughing Palomino. My idol was greater than God.
If you have a desire to See God…. “The idol has to go”… or change… and since I was dealing with a particularly ‘stubborn’ illusory form, me, my projected lesson called ‘forclosure’ was the fastest way back to God, “to see the separation”, “uncover my Light”, “Join in Love”… call it whatever you will.
However, I came into this world of illusion, as a child ‘searching for something… which I ultimately Seeing as my internal unconscious, “Willingness” to See God. The Background that ‘drove me forward’ in life.
In My life ‘story’, to Experience God’s Love, I would be required to put my idol up as an offering. Whether I stayed at the Laughing Palomino or I would Leave…either way… My greatest commitment was to be Graced with the Peace of God.
I was guided through A Course in Miracles… The Literal interpretation of ACIM… The path was divine… The Lesson Complete… More will be Revealed…