A Body Clearing…Part 11… For Me… Retreats are for Clearings…

So the Teacher of God Retreat in Maine happened… On the Beauty Full coast of Maine… ‘I’ opened to the Process…Within the Loving Embrace of ‘Others Clearing’.

The Happy Dream…

The first night at the retreat… ‘A Clearing’ was Underway… as I walked with a dear Friend… I ‘grabbed’ her hand and said… “Can we sit?”…

I became aware of a ‘big’ fear…It ‘Terrified’…There were no words yet…only the ‘Experience of terror’.

images-22My real ‘desire’ at this point is… to run away, to get angry and ‘make wrong’, to avoid the “whole idea of death”. To Always Avoid Fear. And in this case… the fear was the ‘fear of death’… and this was NO METAPHOR, in ‘my mind’.

We sat at the nearest picnic table. She holding my hands across the table… I Shared the words, ‘i fear i am dying’.

And with these simple words…a ‘floodgate of ‘thoughts’ purged into ‘view’. “Thoughts” that would ‘validate’ this ‘tumor’ getting ‘larger’ ‘idea’.

With a ‘thorough understanding’ of ‘dis-eases’…from an education in our current system of ‘health care’,  I paid good money to pack all this nonsense into my ‘thought’ system. ‘I’ beLIEved in ‘cancer’… AND I beLIEved ‘certain’ ‘treatments’ could ‘help’ and others would ‘hinder’.  I beLIEved that ‘death is a conclusion’.

images-37AND, I was in the world of God’s Laws only… Treatments do not help nor hinder.  My beLIEf in ‘cancer’ is just a ‘stain’ I Place on a otherwise Blue Sky… In God’s World. I AM BOUND BY LOVE ONLY…. So with the ‘fear’….Again… I find ‘my mind’ giving in to ‘scrambled egg brain’…

I Cried… she suggested some things ‘to do’ in the ‘horizontal’…  and I was so Clear…”my Clearing” and this retreat had very little to do with the ‘horizontal’…and as Nothing of ‘importance’, ‘in my life’, has to do with the ‘horizontal’…

images-19The only thing ‘unhealed’ was some beLIEf that resulted in my ‘fear of dying’. (I, understand, how ‘death is impossible’ as a ‘metaphor’)… and I beLIEved I had an abdominal tumor… ‘my hands’ were lying to me…Holy Spirit… Help Me See this differently…

The first night of the retreat… Jon Mundy shared about his ‘cancer experiences’ and acim…I tracked him down…The next day… I Joined with Him in the Grove…

I shared my ‘terror’ of an “tumor getting larger”… I think I might have used the words ‘inoperable’ just to add ‘dramatic flair into the projection…  Then We Joined in Silence.

I asked God to speak through him…as ‘my fear’ was apparently in the way of ‘me’ Seeing something…and I could ‘use’ and ‘outside voice’…

He Held the Light… We Joined hands … He spoke ‘God’ to me…

And … yes… More will be revealed!!!!

One thought on “A Body Clearing…Part 11… For Me… Retreats are for Clearings…

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