In March of 2011, I placed myself in Hospice. It was after a surgery and a diagnosis of stage IV, grade 3 uterine cancer that had metastasized. I was exhausted and ready to be done with All of it! So Hospice occurred as a safe haven while ‘waiting to die’.
During January thru March of 2013… I appeared to be very sick, and ready to go. I had pneumonia with Lungs that were ‘suffering”. I lost days to a ‘death’ like sleep. I would wake up fearful and confused as to what day it was. One of the things that occurred to me at the time was… “death was not what I thought”…
I have read many near-death experiences. I was not experiencing: ‘pearly gates, bright lights, and friendly ‘welcomes’. I was getting that I would die… fall asleep… only to wake up as a baby, to do it all over again with ‘clueless parents’. For me…this was the very worst of Groundhog day. I was working a Course in Miracles and I was about to ‘bump it up’.
I did my first 40 day Commitment to God with Lisa Natoli in August of 2013. The process, participating fully, will give you an opportunity to address whatever projection you find yourself in. I was wanting to address my participation in Hospice… I was wanting to address my belief in ‘death by cancer’… I Got ohhh so much more!!!
Lisa gave us a Lesson (video and audio) each day. There was One that stood out for me. It was a ‘confronting’ lesson, for me. There is a story of Jesus speaking with a man that could not walk. In this story, Jesus said, “Take your bed and walk”…At first glance a rather unassuming lesson… and as I sat with the Lesson over several days, I got that my “I am in a dying Hospice conversation”, and the belief I held in this conversation was keeping me in a belief that was not in my best interest.
Then Lisa throws her lesson of:
“The Love of God, is my molecular source, that transcends my apparent understanding of the physical workings of the body. Jesus promises that the laws of God reverse the apparent laws of the world”.
In a belief cycle called birth to death….the lungs will always fail… So why would I put any belief into something that will always lead to failure in my life. The worse my lungs apparently got, I was able to See them as access out of my nightmare if I could See where I was making myself wrong, that resulted in me seeing ‘failing lungs”. I was exhausted in this apparent groundhog day terrorist attack upon myself that resulted in me projecting cancer. I was taking everything to God…God is only Love…cancer/death can Not be a creation of God’s. That just left one other person to let off the hook….me.
I went on a journey into my self with this program. In linear time, this did not take long… several weeks perhaps… And during this time, the attack was deafening…It was a defining attack on my Holy Self… which is also your Holy Self… which means, in my world… we were screwed!!!! This level of guilt acted outward is the reason I cannot find peace in my mind, my community or the Middle East… This is the Source of All Insanity…My thoughts!
This all unraveled in the safe listening of ‘Mightie Companions”…Lisa’s program, using A Course in Miracles as the foundation, provides the structure to bring ACIM to life for any body. If you have studied for 1 week to 20 years… the exploration of thought and judgment are clarified and made Real… What is available to us is profound.
Lisa Natoli”s 40 Day Commitment to God, allowed me access to a daily program with a powerful listening for Me to See as God Sees. I was able to take on my beliefs of ‘death, cancer and hospice”, and return to a Living conversation without fear!!!!! I will be a part of this program any time Lisa offers it… Our world depends upon Me!!!!!
As of this writing, I had a ‘graduation party’ with my Hospice Team…I am very much alive and am Grateful for the lesson ‘cancer’.
Thank You Lisa and All My Mightie Companions!! You have my ‘undying’ Gratitude!!! xoxoxoxoxocalicoxoxoxox
Reblogged this on Calico UnEdited.